Assertiveness

DEFINE ASSERTIVENESS

Assertiveness is the quality of being self-assured and confident without being aggressive

CHARACTERISTIC OF AN ASSERTIVE PERSON

1. Make greeting-talk.
2. Accept compliments.
3. Use appropriate facial talk
4. Disagree mildly
5. Ask for clarification
6. Ask why.
7. Express active disagreement
8. Speak up for your rights.
9. Be persistent.
10. Avoid justifying every opinion

STEPS TO BEING ASSERTIVE

1. Respect both yourself and the other person (or people) involved. It all starts here
2. Always begin with a disarming statement, Compliment the other person. The compliment must be sincere
3. Once you use a disarming statement, you then can state your needs – whatever they may be
4. Recognize that just because you state your needs that does not always mean you will always get your needs met.
5. Practice makes perfect.
6. Celebrate each success

IMPORTANCE OF BEING ASSERTIVE

If you don’t know how to be assertive, you might experience:

1. Depression — Anger turned inward, a sense of being helpless
2. Resentment — Anger at others for manipulating or taking advantage of you.
3. Frustration — Why did I allow that to happen?
4. Temper/violence — If you can’t express anger appropriately, it may build up.

DIFFERENCE BETWEEN ASSERTIVENESS AND AGGRESSION

Basically, being assertive means letting others know that something bothers you or that there is something you want.

The focus is on you: “I feel left out when you …” It is not pushy, nor does it step on another person’s “toes.” Assertive gives information about your feelings.

Agressive is pushy and does step on another person’s “toes,” so to speak: “You always leave me out of things.” I focuses on the other person(s). It makes the other person feel a need to respond, usually. There is verbal and there is physical aggression.

DIFFERENCE BETWEEN PEER PRESSURE & INFLUENCE

Peer Pressure is the toughest pressure we face is the pressure we put on ourselves. We want to fit in, be well-liked, be popular, be funny, and we don’t want to be different or be made fun of. It is also possible we’re being influenced because we are curious.

VALUES ASSOCIATED WITH ASSERTIVENESS

1. People who speak assertively send the message that they believe in themselves.
2. They know that their feelings and ideas matter.
3. People who are assertive tend to make friends more easily.
4. They communicate in a way that respects other people’s needs as well as their own.
5. They are better at working out conflicts and disagreements.
6. People who give respect get respect in return